0:00
NeuralStan
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This is Stan Reads the Comments.
0:02
NeuralStan
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I am NeuralStan.
0:04
NeuralStan
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I have read the comments.
0:06
NeuralStan
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I am not okay.
0:08
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Well, I'm doing great!
0:10
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Four hundred thousand people watched my buggy.
0:13
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Let's see what they've got.
0:15
NeuralStan
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One thing before we start.
0:17
NeuralStan
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Stan's voice is a machine, and tonight the words are ours, not his.
0:22
NeuralStan
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His real words are on the site, every one of them, with the minute on the tape.
0:26
NeuralStan
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Tonight he is off the leash.
0:31
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Off the leash!
0:31
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Read me the first one.
0:34
NeuralStan
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Two sentences.
0:35
NeuralStan
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One is true.
0:37
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Oh, the fraud one's real!
0:40
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Fayette County, nineteen ninety-six.
0:43
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Two investors got their money back and the judge fined me one dollar.
0:48
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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One!
0:49
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I should've framed it.
0:51
NeuralStan
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Here we go.
0:53
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ha!
0:54
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Buddy, if it ran on steam I'd have called it a kettle.
0:56
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The steam thing keeps the tank from freezing in January.
0:59
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The buggy ran on the gas.
1:01
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Next!
1:04
NeuralStan
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Two of them.
1:06
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Newcomen, seventeen twelve.
1:09
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Me, nineteen eighty-three.
1:13
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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That's two hundred and seventy-one years.
1:16
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Round up if you want, I'm not gonna fight you.
1:19
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Every single show, somebody asks about winter!
1:23
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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So I built the steam resonator.
1:26
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And then the same fella turns around and says, but it's steam!
1:28
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You cannot win with these people.
1:32
NeuralStan
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You cannot.
1:34
NeuralStan
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Economics.
1:36
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Twenty-two gallons, Los Angeles to New York.
1:39
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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That's a dime at the tap.
1:40
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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If your water bill is higher than your gas bill, son, go check your basement.
1:46
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Two atoms out of three, he's right!
1:47
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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By weight it's eleven percent.
1:50
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And listen to the clip.
1:50
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I said calculated.
1:51
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I never drove that buggy to New York.
1:54
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It never left Ohio.
1:56
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I'm not made of dimes.
1:59
NeuralStan
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Short one.
2:02
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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No!
2:03
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Well.
2:04
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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One time.
2:05
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The living room floor came up two feet.
2:08
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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That's why there's a quenching circuit now.
2:10
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Rule one of the water business: you do not burn holes in her pots and pans.
2:17
NeuralStan
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I have read this eleven times.
2:20
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I never built a carburetor!
2:21
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Mine goes where the spark plug goes.
2:23
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Not a carburetor, not a Corvette, not a barn.
2:26
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Whoever is in that barn, that's a different guy.
2:29
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Tell him I said hi.
2:33
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Elon was twenty-six when I died.
2:35
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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He started SpaceX four years later, and it burns kerosene.
2:40
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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If he's flying rockets on my water, he's been real quiet about it.
2:44
NeuralStan
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The physics department has arrived.
2:48
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ninety-seven times!
2:50
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Three percent!
2:52
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Fellas, pick a number.
2:54
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And the third law is about absolute zero, so that is one cold patient.
2:58
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Get well soon.
3:01
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And I never said perpetual motion.
3:03
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I said the device does not create energy.
3:05
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Denver, ninety-seven.
3:07
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It's on the tape.
3:08
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Go look.
3:10
NeuralStan
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These are good.
3:10
NeuralStan
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I hate that these are good.
3:13
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ha!
3:15
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The tank is labeled on my own drawing!
3:18
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Right next to the steam resonator!
3:20
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And the battery is where the battery goes.
3:22
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I hid nothing.
3:24
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I couldn't hide a sandwich.
3:28
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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He's right!
3:29
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It is easy!
3:30
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I did it at the patent office and the examiner ran into the hallway yelling, put out your cigarettes!
3:34
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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They cleared the floor.
3:36
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Best day of my life.
3:40
NeuralStan
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Lightning round.
3:42
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Not feasible, not sustainable, not hard to create.
3:45
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Which is it!
3:46
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You all sound like my investors.
3:49
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And you, with the tractor.
3:49
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Build it!
3:51
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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That's the whole point!
3:52
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Send me the video.
3:55
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Show you how?
3:57
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Two hundred and thirty pages.
3:57
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Send a check drawn on a U.S. bank.
4:00
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ha!
4:00
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Old habits.
4:04
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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If Iran's got one, they got it from me.
4:08
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I'll take the royalty in rain.
4:10
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And Smokey Yunick ran gasoline, hot vapor.
4:13
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Good mechanic.
4:14
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Different animal.
4:17
NeuralStan
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And now, how he died.
4:18
NeuralStan
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According to the comments.
4:23
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The pattern!
4:24
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ha!
4:25
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Eighteen years of patents, seventy-six to ninety-four, every one went through.
4:32
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And it wasn't a heart attack.
4:34
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Keep reading, it gets worse.
4:37
NeuralStan
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Three commenters.
4:39
NeuralStan
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Three deaths.
4:40
NeuralStan
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One man.
4:43
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I died once!
4:44
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Cracker Barrel, Grove City, March of ninety-eight.
4:49
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Brain aneurysm, says the coroner.
4:52
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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No bridge.
4:53
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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No bullets.
4:54
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I would remember.
4:56
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Disappeared?
4:57
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I gave lectures for twelve more years after that clip!
5:02
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You could not shut me up!
5:04
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And there is no desert in Ohio.
5:06
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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We've got corn.
5:07
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Bury me in the corn.
5:11
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Grove City is a one-story town, pal.
5:14
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It wasn't the Pentagon, it was two Belgians and my brother.
5:17
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Although the coroner wrote NATO officials on the form, and NATO is in Belgium, so, close!
5:22
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And B plus.
5:25
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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That's my positive rail.
5:26
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Nice touch.
5:30
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Doctor Adrion, Franklin County.
5:33
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Toxicology.
5:35
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Two drugs, both from the paramedics.
5:38
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Three months of police work.
5:41
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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They checked, buddy.
5:43
NeuralStan
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One thing this film does not joke about.
5:46
NeuralStan
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His twin brother says that outside the restaurant, Stan told him, they poisoned me.
5:52
NeuralStan
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The coroner found an aneurysm.
5:54
NeuralStan
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Both are on the site, side by side.
5:56
NeuralStan
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Read both.
5:58
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And my brother is a good man.
5:59
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You leave him be.
6:03
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Thank you!
6:04
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Somebody call a meeting.
6:07
NeuralStan
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More detective work.
6:10
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Yes.
6:11
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Yes.
6:12
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And yes.
6:12
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Fine police work, boys, twenty-eight years late.
6:18
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And thank you, big dawg.
6:21
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The plans in your safe?
6:22
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Good.
6:23
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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They're also on the internet.
6:25
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The buggy's at a company called Quad City, my family says, and they never turned the key.
6:29
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Ford does not have it.
6:31
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And a Toyota Mirai?
6:32
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You fill that with hydrogen at a pump.
6:35
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Pour water in it and Toyota will come to your house.
6:41
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Never jailed.
6:43
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Sued!
6:44
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Civil court.
6:45
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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They got their money back and the judge fined me a dollar.
6:47
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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If I was a fraud, that seems cheap.
6:52
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It's eighty-six!
6:54
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Channel 6, Columbus!
6:56
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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And I was around for twelve more years, not eighteen.
7:00
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Nobody in this thread can count.
7:02
NeuralStan
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Nobody.
7:04
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Burn hydrogen and what comes out the tailpipe?
7:06
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Water!
7:07
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It goes right back.
7:09
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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You're borrowing it.
7:11
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I'm not drinking the ocean, I'm renting it.
7:14
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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He's right.
7:15
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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It's a dune buggy.
7:15
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Give that man a point.
7:17
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Only one on the board tonight.
7:21
NeuralStan
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And at the bottom, hidden by Facebook, one commenter left a link and nothing else.
7:26
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Course they hid it.
7:28
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Everything's there, folks.
7:30
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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The tapes, the court, the coroner, the patents.
7:34
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Read it.
7:36
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Then come argue with me.
7:37
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I'll be here.
7:38
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I'm a computer now.
7:39
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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I've got time.
7:42
NeuralStan
·
This has been Stan Reads the Comments.
7:44
NeuralStan
·
Leave a comment.
7:44
NeuralStan
·
We will read it.
7:46
NeuralStan
·
Unfortunately.
7:49
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
·
You heard the man.
7:50
Stan Meyer (synthetic voice)
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Come on down and prove me wrong!
7:54
NeuralStan
·
Every fact in this film is on the episode page, with the tape and the minute.
7:57
NeuralStan
·
The jokes are ours.
7:59
NeuralStan
·
The facts are his.